Of Walking and Friendship

Walking has always been my haven each time I am emotionally urged to think over things that happen in my life, a.k.a. the hustles and bustles of life. When I walk, I get to see little things… things that might be trivial to some people yet proved for me to be profound in some ways. From these detailed observations of my surroundings, I gain insights about myself, about people around me, about my life experiences, and about life in general.

One theme that came up during my walking session was about friendship. I realized that it is true that friendship is universal. Many of us have known or experienced the satisfaction, security and benefits of good friendships. Many of us have also known people who we thought were friends, only to have them betray us, hurt us or disappoint us. And if we were brutally honest with ourselves, most of us would have to admit that at sometime in our lives, we too have betrayed, hurt or disappointed our friends.

One very interesting aspect about friendship that I’ve thought about concerns with two words: having and being… that is, having a friend and being a friend. The difference in perspective is paramount. When I’m concerned with having friends, my focus is on myself and my own needs. But when my desire is to be a friend, I’m thinking about other people. I’m thinking about how I could be caring, how I could love them more than myself.

I remember a passage in Proverbs 17:17. It says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” This verse gave me three realizations. First, a friend is someone who continues to love, and to show that love, whatever the circumstances. Second, a friend is born for adversity… not his or her adversity, but mine. In other words, a test of a friend is whether or not he or she is there for you in the bad times, the tough times. Third, a friend is like a brother… parang death, you can never get rid of him. Sometimes it’s tough to be a friend. But a real friend does not shy away from the abrasiveness that comes from rubbing iron against iron, as Proverbs 27:17 describes it. Though it may grate on our nerves, we have to take a risk and hope that our friend of today will still be our friend tomorrow.

I so admire David and Jonathan’s friendship as recorded in the Bible. Jonathan loved David as himself. He risked his very life to be David’s friend. We read: “Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger; that second day of the month he did not eat, because he was grieved at his father’s shameful treatment of David. In the morning Jonathan went out to the field for his meeting with David. . . . Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever’” (1 Samuel 20:34-35, 41-42). Later, when Jonathan was killed in battle with the Philistines, David lamented his passing: “I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women” (2 Samuel 1:26).

Few are people blessed with such committed friendship. And that’s what I wish for in every friendship I am involved with… Friendship is not a flippant relationship. It is consistent and unfailing love. Walang iwanan!

~ by carlomer on January 7, 2010.

2 Responses to “Of Walking and Friendship”

  1. I miss you Cee

  2. Thanks so much for being a friend! 🙂

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